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Category: Muthahood

All toddlers are psychopaths
13 July, 2015
1006 Views

All toddlers are psychopaths

Hi. It’s been a little while since I last wrote. There are a few reasons for that, which if you’re interested, you can read about on my website. But for today I’d like to talk about toddlers, specifically the way in which they are like Joe Pesci (it’s not just that they’re short with high-pitched […]

Do you know where your toddler is?
24 May, 2015
1251 Views

Do you know where your toddler is?

Since returning to full-time employment after having a child I’ve faced a number of obstacles. Most of them are The Master’s toys which are strewn from one end of the house to the other. But certainly the removal of daytime naps from my life has been a sad loss.

The difficulties of maternal giftware
24 May, 2015
8889 Views

The difficulties of maternal giftware

It’s Mother’s Day on Sunday. You probably already know this due to the plethora of mailers and store displays encouraging you to show your mother how much you love her by shelling out some money and buying her a gift or two.

In the club
4 April, 2015
835 Views

In the club

For the longest time after I had a baby I was really, truly not comfortable with the word “mother”. Well, not so much the word itself, more that it now applied to me. Mother. It just seemed to come with a lot of gravitas. Far too much for this flibbertygibbet.

Arting While Mothering
24 March, 2015
1063 Views

Arting While Mothering

I’d never really thought much about it before, but I would like my offspring to have an appreciation of The Arts. I don’t expect him to be an artist or even have an artistic or creative job necessarily but I would like him to see the value in artistic endeavours.

Parenting By The Stars (and also me)
12 March, 2015
1355 Views

Parenting By The Stars (and also me)

Reading is a really big part of my life, as is writing, of course. The idea of not being able to do those things as well as I need to is upsetting to me but that’s the reality for many people living with dyslexia.

Exit via the rear windshield (and try to remember the baby)
5 March, 2015
716 Views

Exit via the rear windshield (and try to remember the baby)

Earlier this week a woman was rescued by police from a car that shortly afterwards sank into the Waitemata Harbour. Dramatic photos of this event have sparked the imagination.

The pain and suffering of parenthood
17 February, 2015
1575 Views

The pain and suffering of parenthood

One of the things they never tell you about parenthood is how much it hurts. And I’m not talking about labour, or breastfeeding, or even those uterine cramps you get while breastfeeding (like a super-fun combination of both discomforts).

What not to watch while pregnant
11 February, 2015
1838 Views

What not to watch while pregnant

In November 2013 I started writing a blog post about movies and television episodes to avoid watching while pregnant. I never finished writing it because the next day we were informed that our baby would be arriving ahead of schedule. As I know several people who are pregnant at the moment I thought it would be […]

23 January, 2015
776 Views

The spurious science of baby: Centripetal force

This was a drawing I meant to include in my original Spurious science of baby post but forgot about for some reason. So I thought I might draw it anyway. There really is no parental joy like that of being bludgeoned on a daily basis by a supposed “helpless” infant.

  • "No, I'm not Mike the pogo stick." David Lynch has nothing on a 3 year old talking to his Lego.,
  • Forgot about so here's a drunk one. ,
  • Kay Eff Seeeee! ,
  • You know you're I'd when you get drunk and all you want to talk about is infrastructure. ,
  • Someone just asked me if I wanted another drink and in answer I raised my arms up and sang "baaabysiitterr". So that's where we're at.,