As an engaged person, I am technically in an “in between” state, maritally speaking. I often have to remind myself that being engaged sort of entails an intent to marry, which means … a wedding.
It is the height of foolishness to fall in love with a literary character.
So I’ve been doing recaps of The Bachelor episodes for a few weeks now and I’ve had tonnes of positive feedback from people about them. But I’m not going to be doing them any more.
BIG SWINGING BALL(s)! Sorry, but I mean… In voiceover our Bachelor Art points out that there are some of the Bachelorette’s he hasn’t got to know very well so he’d better do something about that if he’s going to figure out if one of them is his dream girl (looks off into mid-distance (BINGO)). It’s…
Being one half of an engaged couple means there are a lot of important questions to answer. When will should we get married? Can we dress our son up as an Ewok for the wedding? Is picking out china still a thing that people do and how I can I use my influence to make…
This episode opens with our usual thoughtful plinky-plonk piano music and Art running on a beach. Art is very big on beach running. It would actually be much better if they just subbed in the ‘Chariots of Fire’ theme for these opening bits, I feel.
Before we dive into the latest episode’s shenanigans I must address an issue that’s come up in the last week or so, namely that several bachelorettes have started reading these recaps. I know.
Is it wrong that I’m still annoyed that this has to be on twice a week? Anyway, as per usual we get a rundown on what happened last episode as well as a teaser of tonight’s offering. It’s morning and Art is enjoying a run on the beach but there’s no TORSO, only GUNS.
Has it only been a week since this kicked off? It feels so much longer. I guess measuring time in TORSO units, it’s about 3 months?
Holy shit is this thing on AGAIN? Ah crap. Why did I say I’d do this? Well let’s plow in then. We begin with the obligatory “what just happened” montage followed by a “what’s about to happen montage”.